How to look intelligent

Do people tend not to take you seriously because you look like a bit of an airhead? Are you concerned that your grades might be suffering because of the way you look? Are you worried that, with your current image, you might be restricted to a career of waiting tables? Then it’s time to take a long look at yourself and figure out what you can do to look more intelligent.

Firstly, the simplest thing you can do to boost your grades by at least 50% is to start wearing glasses. If you have perfect vision, don’t fret – you can wear frames with just plain glass. Don’t be tempted to wear just frames, people will realize that you don’t need glasses and thick you are trying to be hip. This will make them see that you’re not as smart as they initially thought you were. Don’t try to pull this off with sunglasses either – nobody ever saw a smart girl wearing shades indoors.

Onto your hair. As the whole world knows, the color for bimbos is strawberry blonde. If you’re unfortunate to have this color hair naturally, it’s no wonder that people treat you like a moron. Don’t worry, you can always dye your hair. The standard colors for smart people’s hair is black, unless you are white skinned, in which case it is mousy brown. Get rid of any curls and straighten your hair out using one of these flat irons from Hair Straightener Studio. Once you’ve done that, adopt a style that will convince people that you enjoy reading books and spending time alone, such as a fringe or tied back in a bun. Don’t wear any make-up as this will suggest that you have thought unrelated to your studies.

Wear soft fabrics in autumnal colors – beige, auburn, dark green and plenty of gray (gray squirrels are autumnal, in case you were wondering about the autumnal connection, but congratulations on looking up the word). A cardigan is a must. You can also try out polo shirts or sweaters with the names of museums or universities on them (try to get hold of Ivy League ones – nobody is going to be impressed by your University of Eastern Oklahoma top). Avoid showing much skin and wear sensible leather shoes.

Intelligent girls have accessories, too, they are just different from the ones you are used to. Always carry a backpack on your shoulder and at least one book in your hand. Have lots of stationery in your bag so that you can always be the one who can be relied on to borrow a pencil from. Get rid of any designer watches and buy yourself a cheap, sensible looking and practical watch which looks like it could be a hand-me-down.

Once you’ve got the look right, open your mouth as little as possible. People will think you are quiet and shy, which is in keeping with many intelligent girls. In fact, this is necessary to stop you from giving the game away by using valley girl slang and poor grammar.

Hang out in the library, which is where intelligent people are expected to be found. Read as many books as you can on as many topics as you can find. Spend time writing about what you have read, what questions it has raised in your mind, what you will do to answer those questions. By doing this, you will find that your grades improve a great deal. You may even be able to start practicing talking to other intelligent people about what you have read, picking up vocabulary and absorbing logic and rhetoric. Before long you’ll be ready for the SAT and then off to that Ivy League university whose sweater you’ve been wearing!